Letter to My Kids....

  A note for my kids (and other people who are clueless) today. I think my offspring could use a few tips on how to behave and why. I think more parents should be open with their kids about life beyond the doors of their home. There are way too many kids doing drugs and having babies. I realize that sometimes these things just happen and sometimes to very good kids, but maybe if their parents shared with them what was expected and how life works, those things wouldn't happen as often. Maybe I'm wrong... but I thought I would share things that I have learned over the years.



Useful Tips for Life...

1. Respect yourself - For my girls, this means that Mommy can't tell you what you you do with your body. But I KNOW what teenage boys want. It's one thing. They will tell you anything to get it. It's called SEX. Respect yourself enough to know that you have the right to say no.. whenever you want, with no explanation.. If you say yes, you also have to live with what happens after. Sometimes it's not so pretty.
 For my boys, this means don't be a pig. Don't use people (IE, girls). Don't say things you don't mean just to have fun.
 For everyone, don't give in to what everyone else is doing. You don't have drink or smoke with everyone else to their friend. Being the designated driver has perks too. And if you do decide to party, don't be above calling your mom or dad (ANYTIME) to come and get you and any friends who might need a ride home too.

2. Don't Lie.- For obvious reasons. You won't be trusted by anyone if you start down this road. This advice will apply for the rest of your life.

3. Stand up for yourself. - It's OK to believe in something. Don't let other people and their ignorance make you think that your beliefs and values are wrong. This is something that I can't stress enough. We live in a small, closed minded community. The real world is full of different people. Just because they don't wear Wranglers and cowboy boots doesn't mean they are bad. They are all different colors and races, some people are gay. Some even have disabilities. ALL of those people have feelings and quite a few of them make really great friends. You don't have to like all of them, but you must be nice. If you can't be nice, then try your best to tolerate them. Not liking someone because they are gay, or Muslim, or a democrat, or have a tattoo of Scooby Doo isn't acceptable. Don't judge someone on those things alone. It makes you look like a total ignorant ass.

4. Be friends with whomever you want. - This may be tricky at times. But if one friend doesn't like another one of your friends. That is THEIR problem, not yours. You can be friends with people who don't like each other. However, you must follow one rule... Don't talk to one friend about the other when you are together. This is a surefire way to lose one friend or both.

5. Your Family will always be your family. - This is a hard one to think about right now, when brothers drive you batty and sisters steal your favorite shirts. Just remember in the years to come, these are the people who will pick you up when your world falls apart. You may not talk to them on a daily basis, but you will know in the back of your mind that they are there when you need them most.

6. Try to understand where your parents are coming from. - Yet again, another hard one. I will let you in on a little secret. Parents are not experts. We have no clue if we are screwing you up or making you a better person. In the end, you make the choices. We are here to try and steer you in a direction that will keep you safe and ultimately make your life better. We don't want you to make the same mistakes we made. Sometimes we come across as total asses. This isn't because we don't love you. It's because we know the world is a very hard place to be when you are on your own and we want you to have some preparation for it. When we ask you to work hard and take things seriously it's because one day we know we won't be there to offer the advice and you'll have to do it on your own.

7. Trust your instincts. - If you are scared, get away from whatever it is that is scary. Don't get into cars with strangers...EVER.  If you are thinking someone is a jerk or isn't good for you... stay away from them. If you fall in love with one of those people, walk away. They may tell you nasty things or try to get you to stay, but trust me, it will never get better. It's best to get out quicker rather than wait half your life and wish you had hurt a few feelings, rather than have a huge mess to deal with later. If your family and friends are telling you you are making a huge mistake. Think about it. They are probably right. Sometimes swallowing your pride will make things better in the long run.

8. Follow your dreams. - Don't let anyone get in your way. Do the things you want to do while you are young. Once you get married and have kids, it's much harder to do the things you have dreamed about. You can still do them, but you'll find that dreams get pushed aside very quickly when you have a baby who is sick or a house payment that needs to be paid.

9. Travel! - Get away from this place where we are living. Don't be a homebody. Your bed will be there when you come home. See the world and all those different people I talked about before. There are so many amazing places to go and things to see. Don't ever pass up an oppurtunity for a road trip. You have Gypsy blood running through your veins, stir it up a little. Open your mind to as many new experiences as you can. It will make you a better person. Trust me.

10. Read! - Newspapers, magazines, books, cereal boxes, medical dictionarys. Whatever you can get your hands on... stimulate your brain. You will be surpised at what you can learn just reading a box of Mini Wheats. You'll also find places you can escape to when things are slow or you just need some "me" time. If you don't like reading.... WRITE! I know you all have tons of stories. Share them with the world.


There are so many other words of advice that have been shared with me over the years. These are just a few that have stuck in my head. Hopefully, my kids will read them and thier eyes won't glaze over. I love my kids more than life itself. I know I have spoiled them over the years and tried to shelter them from all the bad things that happen in this world. However,they will all be heading out on thier own soon and maybe a few of my words of advice will help them when things get rough. Forrest's mama was right... Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. Trust in the people who love you. They are your shelter when the storm rolls in, and they will also gladly slam the door on your butt, as you are leaving, when you've stayed too long at their house.